• crystalaguilar9

Transitioning out of a nanny role

Have you ever found yourself facing a hard decision when considering transitioning out of a nanny role? WeCare Nannies President, Crystal, took this week to reflect on her experience on transitioning out of nanny roles and shares her thoughts below:

When It’s time to move on…

When you start a nanny job, you never think about the day when you need to leave the family. This can happen for several reasons and is typically hard on the nanny and the children in the nanny’s care. There is also potential for parents to become upset, since a good nanny family relationship has a nanny closely integrated into everyday family life. Here are some of my thoughts on the transition process, coming from my perspective as a nanny.

Through all the transitions I’ve had over the years, saying goodbye has always been incredibly difficult. I always put my heart and soul into every position I’ve held, and always viewed it as an extremely important role. It was my job to love, protect, and encourage growth and development in the children I cared for. Investing that much into something doesn’t come without attachment. When you must let go, leave behind, or move on from something you are attached to, it’s not without challenge, and that is especially true for something very near and dear to your heart.

Being a nanny isn’t like going into a corporate office, it’s something so much more personal. In my years of being a nanny I’ve had parents congratulate me on the next step of my life, I’ve had parents become upset because they are sad to see me go, and I’ve had parents angry because they feel betrayed that I would leave them. Even though I’ve felt a degree of guilt every time, I think something we all must remember is this: yes, being a nanny is very personal, but it is a job, a professional role, and a career to most nannies. Leaving a family is not anything personal against the family—and it is important keep in mind that as a nanny you are making the best decision for yourself, though it is not without its challenges. Like with any other career, transitioning out of a nanny job means it’s time for the next chapter in our personal story.

Nannies and parents should have a professional conversation regarding the transition and work together to make it as smooth as possible for the children. We as nannies are an important part of their children’s lives and the children must be taken into consideration. I’ve found, much like in other relationships in life, open communication is key to ensuring the smoothest possible transition between nannies and families. Including the children has proved to be a key to success.

I have seen the many children I’ve cared for over the years become upset when it was time to move on. In their eyes their nanny is a part of their everyday life, and I’ve seen a fair share of tears, tantrums, and confusion when transitioning out of nanny roles. The important thing to keep in mind with children is that they see the nanny as part of their family, and may see a nanny as a sibling, another parent figure, mentor, or relative figure. Could you imagine someone telling a child that they can’t see their close sibling, or cousin anymore, because they’re no longer going to be with them every day? Navigating the response of children gives the transition process another layer and breaking the news can be a delicate situation.

Here are some things I have found in my experience make it easier on the children during and after the transition.

1. Have a period of overlap with the previous nanny and the new nanny. If this situation applies, this will help the children adapt to the new person, while still having the safety and comfort of their previous nanny around. The nanny will be able to help the new nanny adapt to the children’s personalities and schedules.

2. Explain to the children it’s not their fault. It’s important for the children to understand the nanny is not leaving because of them, it’s because something in their life is changing.

3. Encourage a continued relationship with the nanny and children. It may help the children to know this person isn’t leaving their lives forever. It could be something as simple as a phone call, or a periodic visit with the nanny. This can help ease the transition.

4. Let the children have a voice. I have found that when parents have let children old enough have an opinion or feel like they have a say in the choosing of the new nanny, it will help them get more excited and feel more secure about the position.

When the nanny is gone it’s important to continue open communication with your children. It could help to spend extra time with them in the beginning and ask how they are doing and feeling with this new transition. Whenever I’ve gone into a new position I’ve asked the parents and the children to do something special together with me so that we can spend time building a relationship together—a team building activity, if you will. I have always wanted to help the children best transition from their old nanny and make the beginning of our relationship start on a solid foundation.

Transitioning out of a nanny role can be challenging for everyone, but it’s important to keep in mind that ultimately, as individuals, we need to make the best decisions for ourselves—that’s not always the easiest thing.

Whether you are going through this now, have gone through it in the past successfully or un-successfully- we wish you nothing but the most encouragement and well wishes as you go through any challenging situations in life and throughout your career.

Crystal Aguilar

President|WeCare Nannies